Oodles of Doodles

24 Feb

I am still mystified by people who say they’re all for equal rights…but that they’re “not a feminist”

just-smith:

honestlycrazy:

This from the show Commander in Chief:
Rebecca Calloway: Look, just because it matters to Mom, doesn’t mean it matters to me. I mean, I’m no feminist.
Kate Allen: So, you don’t believe that woman should have rights equal to those of men?
Rebecca: Well, of course I do, it’s just —
Kate: Well, then, might I suggest, my dear, that you look up the definition of feminist.

It’s demonised for a reason, and that reason is because its full of demons. You can support the ends (equality) without supporting the means (feminism). Feminism is just one, narrow movement towards those ends. It is flawed, and it does not hold a monopoly on equality. 

Me: I’m no Christian.

Friend: So, you don’t believe that we should all love each other?

Me: Well, of course I do, it’s just —

Friend: Well, then, might I suggest, my dear, that you look up the definition of Christian.

Most Christians don’t sincerely follow the teachings of Jesus, and most feminists don’t sincerely fight for objective equality. These are living movements, and they are defined by what they do, rather than what they say they aim to do. Feminism has been very bigoted at times, and very exclusive, and so it is perfectly reasonable to not want to identify as one, or to oppose it. It many ways the dogmatic ideologies that feminism perpetuates (that it’s okay to be sexist against men because they created sexism, that all men should be treated as if they are rapists, that only women suffer) are actually in the way of equality for a large number of people.

There are many reasons to be an anti-feminist, especially if you’re male, because the third-wave feminist movement is becoming more and more suppressive of male equality. Originally breaking gender roles liberated everybody, but now feminists seem more dedicated to enforcing or dismissing the half of the gender binary which doesn’t affect them. If you really can’t understand why men wouldn’t want to participate in feminism, you need to check your privilege. It’s like second wavers wondering why black women didn’t support them. It’s because you actively exclude and erase our issues and our voices, and you are more of an enemy to our liberation than the ally you pretend to be. Male feminists who actually care about men’s issues do not have an easy time, and although I identify as one I would never shame other men into following me. Feminism used to be a rich cis white women’s movement, then it became a cis white women’s movement, then it became a cis women’s movement, and now it’s still a woman’s movement. It is not a safe space for men. So the next time you wonder why men are hostile to feminism, don’t just conclude that these men must be sexist, or part of an evil demonising conspiracy. Instead, consider the fact that feminism is every bit as hostile towards men.

Every now and again a feminist will come along and say ‘why aren’t you a feminist?’, ‘do you not understand what feminism is?’, ‘men can be feminists too!’, completely naive of the fact that she is only seeing feminism from a woman’s perspective. Because until you’ve gone and told that to your colleagues, made sure that female privilege is appreciated and male suffering acknowledged, stopped male sufferers from instantly being harassed or having their experiences spoken over, and eradicated the massive bias which drives it, then you are in no position to shame men for not joining you. 

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